


*hates the world while listening to daddy issues slowed and reverbed*

by LilithOctobre666



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - Avatar & Benders Setting, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst with a Happy Ending, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Bad Poetry, China, Daddy Issues, F/F, F/M, Gay, I Made Myself Cry, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I'm Sorry Victor Hugo, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Multi, Music, Ozai (Avatar) Being a Terrible Parent, Please Don't Hate Me, Politics, Pre-Avatar: The Last Airbender, Romance, Sad, Teen Angst, Teenagers, What Have I Done, Why Did I Write This?
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-04
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:21:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,136
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25647226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilithOctobre666/pseuds/LilithOctobre666
Summary: this is my first modern atla AU, so it might be a bit confusing.1)the city that this fic mostly takes place in is Shanghai. in the earth kingdom??? because i know it pretty well so it’ll be easier for me.2)there's a lot of references to our *western* world3)this is super not cannon at all, in fact the whole atla series plot is veeeeery loosely followed.5)so most of the characters don't know each other yet6)but they all live in the same city (will be explained)7)yue and jet aren't dead8)there’s a lot of politics because im an angsty teen angry at the world ok9) oh and they have different ages  (Aang, Toph, Katara, Ty Lee, and Azula are 16 and in junior year , while Sokka, Suki, Zuko, Mai, Yue, Jet are 17 and in senior year)tw : mental issues, physical and mental abuse, underage drinking and smoking and sexual relations, violence perhaps, mention of sexual abuse i thinkbear in mind that im writing this at 4am after reading 30 chapters of killing stalking ok, im just doing my best out here y'allalso i’ll be recommending songs along the way if you want to feel the extra  v i b e s s s
Relationships: Aang & Katara (Avatar), Aang & The Gaang (Avatar), Aang & Ty Lee (Avatar), Aang/Toph Beifong, Azula & Mai & Ty Lee & Yue & Zuko (Avatar), Azula/Mai (Avatar), Azula/Ty Lee (Avatar), Jet & Zuko (Avatar), Jet/Katara (Avatar), Katara & Mai (Avatar), Katara/Zuko (Avatar), Mai & Zuko (Avatar), Mai/Yue (Avatar), Sokka/Suki/Zuko (Avatar), Sokka/Yue (Avatar), Suki/Zuko (Avatar), Toph Beifong & Zuko
Comments: 4
Kudos: 19





	1. skipping school because they're cooler than you

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first modern atla AU, so it might be a bit confusing. 
> 
> 1)the city that this fic mostly takes place in is Shanghai. in the earth kingdom??? because i know it pretty well so it’ll be easier for me.  
> 2)there's a lot of references to our *western* world  
> 3)this is super not cannon at all, in fact the whole atla series plot is veeeeery loosely followed.  
> 5)so most of the characters don't know each other yet  
> 6)but they all live in the same city (will be explained)  
> 7)yue and jet aren't dead  
> 8)there’s a lot of politics because im an angsty teen angry at the world ok  
> 9) oh and they have different ages (Aang, Toph, Katara, Ty Lee, and Azula are 16 and in junior year , while Sokka, Suki, Zuko, Mai, Yue, Jet are 17 and in senior year)
> 
> tw : mental issues, physical and mental abuse, underage drinking and smoking and sexual relations, violence perhaps, mention of sexual abuse i think
> 
> bear in mind that im writing this at 4am after reading 30 chapters of killing stalking ok, im just doing my best out here y'all
> 
> also i’ll be recommending songs along the way if you want to feel the extra v i b e s s s

Mai walked in the school. She didn’t like it. There was this huge place in the entry, with two enormous staircases on the side. Crowded with kids. Her mom had told her where she was supposed to go. Second to last oversized-step on the right.

She walked up, a visible frown on her face. She stopped at the second to last oversized step. She considered dropping her bag near the pile of them, and then continued walking up the stairs. No way she was going there.

She managed to find a bathroom and lock herself in a stall. She’ll go to her class when it was time, instead of waiting 15 minutes on that step with those fuckers like a 9 year old.

She sat down on the gross toilet seat lid, sighed and stared blankly at the stall door.

_Be gay, do arson_

_Suck my dick_

_Claire is a cocksucker!!!_

Some teen bullshit -although the first graffito was interesting indeed- was written on it, and Mai noticed that someone obviously had tried to get rid of it because of the black smudge marks. She smiled. She heard someone in the stall next to her. Sounds of glass, maybe a bottle? Definitely a bottle.

“Are you getting hammered before school?” She asked, voice uninterested and bland.

The person paused, then slid a bottle of vodka underneath the weirdly large space between stalls.

“Alcohol makes me happy. So keep that shit for yourself.” She pushed it back to the person.

A weirdly formal and obnoxiously wealthy, and not at all drunk sounding voice responded, although Mai recalled the bottle being half empty.

“Doesn’t bother **me**. Nothing makes me happy, so I’m safe.”

She earned a chuckle from Mai, rare thing.

“Do you want to skip today?”

The voice asked.

Mai raised her eyebrow, and her lips twitched. Then, she smiled. What a day.

Mai was bored. She’d do anything to do something. She loved her family, but her mom was a bitch. She never had the opportunity to do anything, everything was restricted. For fuck’s sake, she was homeschooled for 17 years.

“Let’s get out of this shit hole.” She confirmed, grabbing her bag.

She left the stall, and saw the person with the bottle. A pretty girl with gold eyes, messy bun with side pieces, a choker, tons of earrings, a large Franz Ferdinand shirt, black cargo pants, and dirty vans that barely peeled out from her bottoms. And a pretty cute, probably fake, snake tattoo on her arm.

Whoa. Voice does not match appearance.

“Azula.”

The girl held out her hand. What a weird way to greet someone, especially another you just met in the bathroom drinking vodka 15 minutes before the first class of the year. Mai shook it. Her slight smirk grew. This girl was cool.

“Mai.”  
“We’re going in the city. Have you explored it yet?” Azula asked.  
“No. I just got here a few days ago, from Tokyo. Fire Nation.” She replied.  
“I’m from the Fire Nation too.”

(real cities exist in this au, not countries)

Of course. There was a flame in her eyes.

“Well, we’ll take the metro out downtown.” She started walking out the blue tiled bathroom.  
“The metro?” Mai wondered, surprised again that such a voice could go to the metro.

She’d never taken the metro. Someone like her doesn’t take the metro. Daughter of an important politician and liar, and a controlling and restrictive mother.

“Don’t be a pussy, public transportation is good for the environment.” Azula criticized.

They headed out of the bathroom, and closed purposely the door before a younger looking rushed student could enter. Oh, they were gonna get along sweetly.

“How do we get out?” Mai asked, bored again all of a sudden.

“Do you bend?”

“No, but I’m pretty good with knives.”

“Let’s bust some guard ass and leave, then.” Azula seemed decisive, like she had planned this for weeks.

——————

Azula was in total panic. Her mind was chaos. Last night. _Fuck._

She remembered her brother’s fire, full of life compared to hers. It was orange, it was red, it was the sun.

It happened at sunset. Mommy’s boy barged in to her and father’s house. On a peace mission to save the goddamn world. Like he didn’t belong to the family, like he was different. Azula had tried to stop him.

“You have nothing Azula, you have no power, no friends, no family, no affection, no sanity. You’re a tool to father. You think you’re the puppet mater? You do everything for him. Laugh all you want at me trying to get him to love me for 3 years of my life, after he hurt me, but know that the same has happened to you since you were born. That man would kill you with no second thoughts. He doesn’t love you. He doesn’t care for you. He cares for your fire.”

“I AM my fire!” She cried, backing into the corner, striking him with a blinding bolt.

But he redirected it. It shot the wall, an inch above her head.

“No you’re not. You’re broken. You’re loveless. You’re powerless. You’re 16 years old. You need your mother.”

She felt him getting closer to her, closer and closer.

“Go away.” She whimpered, “leave.”

He got closer to her still. He took her in his arms.

Her muscles failed her and she fell into him. She wept and she wept.

The tears came out of her body, carrying pain. Pain. Pain.

_What is wrong with that child?_

  
_She’s a monster._

_I love you Azula, I do._

She didn’t understand anything. She isn’t broken. She isn’t powerless. She doesn’t need love, she never expected it. In fact, father loves her fire, and mother loves Zuko. And it doesn’t hurt.

Yet she was there, in Zuko’s arms, sobbing tears of pain and of love as Agni faded away.

———————  
They got out the odd place in the entrance, which was surprising. Mai was wearing a long black skirt with ruffles and a black cropped tank top with white lace. Her hair was in its signature jet black bangs and half up half down space buns. She wore high platformed doc martens. Her eyeliner was sharper than her knives, tucked away in her pockets. She didn’t know how her mother let her dress like this, but she didn’t really question it.

Then, there was the real entrance. With literal _turnstiles._

 _Is this a a fucking metro station?_ , Mai grimaced.

“Let me handle it.” Azula reassured Mai, who wasn’t even panicked in the least.

She went up to the guards, and took his hand, smiling.

 _Don’t tell me she’s flirting with the man-,_ Mai thought, before noticing the sparks coming from the handshake.

Oh.

The guard was sweating like a pig and shaking, 213 bones rattling.

The turnstile opened, and Azula left, Mai quickly following behind.

“We didn’t really to *bust some guard ass there*.” Mai remarked, unimpressed.  
“Didn’t need to. Don’t worry, we’ll hurt people later, save your energy. Anyways, Mai, why did you say yes to coming with me? What type of trauma did you go through?” Azula questioned.  
“Boredom. Fucking haunts me. I’ve been homeschooled my whole life.” She muttered.  
“I though homeschooled kids existed in fiction only.” The other girl snickered.  
“You look like one yourself, so you’re not one to speak.”  
Silence followed.  
“What’s your trauma? You just asked a complete stranger to skip the first day of school after illegally drinking in a bathroom, there’s definitely something.”  
“I guess you could say that.” She shrugged it off.

Azula. It sounded somehow familiar to Mai. Azula.

She’s the daughter of the fucking Fire Lord.

“Azula? Why didn’t you tell me you were the offspring and basically rightful heir to one of the most prestigious roles in the world, who's secretly taking over the goddamn world or something.”  
“You sound like you're talking about your grandmother's cat.”  
“I don’t give a flying fuck about the government, if you hadn’t noticed.” Mai rolled her eyes.  
“Me neither.” Azula lowered hers.  
“I always thought you were a daddy’s girl prodigy? You don’t look it.”  
“I’m NOT.” Retorted Azula.  
“Okay, okay. Sorry.” Mai apologized, voice as flat as ever, “I just didn’t assume that the girl that plans to conquer a city by herself listens to foreign punk music and drinks vodka. Actually... never mind, that’s exactly what I assumed.”  
“I don’t plan on taking control of Shanghai. I’ve changed my mind. And, for a girl that’s stuck in the 2004 emo scene, but belongs to one of the wealthiest Fire Nation families, you sure have a lot to say about me.” Azula hissed.  
“How do you know where I’m from?” Mai asked, detecting that something was wrong.  
“I’m the Fire Lord’s daughter. How would I not know.” She too rolled her eyes. It was their thing.  
“I’ve met, like, 10 people in my life. None of those were you. I doubt you knew what I looked like. You’re planning something, aren’t you.”  
“Alright, you have more brain cells that I expected, I admit it. Yes, you’re right. But would you really say no? Would you refuse an offer to feel exhilarated and alive?”

Silence followed.

  
“I didn’t think so. You hate the government but you hate your life more.” She bitterly laughed.

Mai followed her steps, and they ended up standing on the metro together without speaking.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> azula remembers what happened after zuko left. how ozai hurt her.   
> then she and mai continue on their school skipping adventure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: violence, child abuse, horrible father, suicide, mention of murder, angst against the government, fight, just really sad too  
> yeah this is a HEAVY chapter, be careful if you're sensitive to these topics.  
> i just finished killing stalking so a bunch of dark topics are filling my mind rn  
> im very sorry for not using correct conjugation and grammar and phrase structure, english ain't my first language ok

Mastermind plan. This was it.

Azula clenched her fists, heavily marching on the sidewalk, dodging a pile of shit.

_And this bitch will do anything to get away from her life. If that means taking over this city, she’ll do it._

Her lips twisted in a faint machiavellian smile.

_Yesterday was just a slip up, that weak-ass brother just thinks he’s a guardian angel after he sat down once for jasmine tea with uncle. And I believed him for a second._

She doesn’t need love or people around her. She needs to do things and she needs to feel strong, because she is.

_I_ _t’s not for father. It’s not for mother. Of course it’s for me. Why the fuck would I do anything for those…people. Around here for only half my childhood, « not the right behavior » this, « you’re a prodigy, I’m so proud » that. They’re both dead to me. Zuko’s a fool for thinking I’d do anything for them._

She tried to drill those thoughts inside her head, despite the nagging memory of her crying because she wasn’t loved by anyone. She felt pain, she felt love, no matter what she tried to be. And this whole thing, she knew deep inside that it was to be seen by Ozai again. She wanted to see the look on his face when he realized that she she isn’t like Zuko or like mother. She isn’t a whore and she isn’t weak. Unloved, maybe, but not weak.

* * *

Azula slumped in the corner. She looked like misery itself. Black tears streaming down her pale face, she had never been this broken-looking. Broken-feeling, yes, but no broken-looking.

Zuko was gone. She hesitated.

_I could very well go burn his house down, with him and uncle inside. They’re a threat to me and father and what we have built for ourselves. Father doesn’t want them neither do I._

But she couldn’t stand up. She heard the door open and slam closed. She wanted to feel comfort, but all there was coursing in her cool blood was fear. She rolled forward on one knee, to properly acknowledge Ozai. She felt in the atmosphere that it was him. She didn’t dare look up.

The man, his dark burgundy robe that swayed the floor covered in the remains of his children’s fight, approached the girl, like a shadow coming to haunt a lost soul.

“You want to explain?”

Azula wiped her eyes and raised slowly her head with a smile.

Flash. She ducked and raised her arms. Burning skin.

“Aaargh!”  
“Get out, You’re a disgrace. I ask you to help me plan my rise to power, as my precious daughter, and you fight that weak boy. You lose”

Burning flesh smells terrible. Does Ozai notice? Does he like it?

“B-but, it’s me , it’s Azul-“

“You’re just like him, aren’t you? Stop playing the victim. You manipulated me into thinking you’d be a good war partner.”

She winced in pain, tears flowing anew, trembling horribly.

“Get up and go. I could do worst to you.”

She picked herself up, miraculously. But she fell just as instantly, her body screaming in pain. Her eyes fluttered closed. Ozai picked her arms up.

“You’re not worthy of me. I won’t even do **it**.”

He ripped her dark top off, holding her burned wrist. His cold satanic laugh filled the room.

“You look like your mother right now. At my feet, weak and bare and burned. You want me to love you? Yet you look like a common whore. A good for nothing filthy child. Should have kicked you out with Zuko.”

He dragged her to the door and shoved her out. Her eyelids slowly forced themsleves open. Her body was red with cuts of glass from the floor and red with scorched skin and red with swollen, teary eyes and red with pain and red with a need for love and red with anger.

“Please. You can’t treat me like Zuko! I’ll do anything for you!We’re..we’re family. I wouldn’t manipulate you, I swear!”, she pleaded and begged, scratching the thick wooden door with her bloody fingernails in the dark corridor.

Then she went black, as Agni faded from the sky and took light with it. Her wounds turned black, as what she pretended to be for 16 years leaked out of them, forming a puddle near her shuttering body.

* * *

Mai, meanwhile, hurriedly walked behind the girl.

She had no idea what was going through the princesse’s head, but she didn’t care. She couldn’t analyze every single letter of the Great Gatsby today, or the day after, or the day after that. She needed to get away. If that was with an alcoholic high-schooler with a dictator dynamic, that was fine.

Mai struggled a lot. Her mom found her twice, laying on her hardwood floors, blood pooling around her. She had seen a few therapists, but they never explained anything. They said that it was hard to explain sadness, sometimes. Mai rolled her eyes at that because

1)isn’t that their fucking job? And

2)it’s not sadness. it’s nothingness.

Sometimes, she scratched her skin with one of her knives to see the blood drip out, to make sure she wasn’t completely empty. She had lied when she told Azula that alcohol made her happy. It used to, but now it made the void in her heart so much louder with it’s incessant silence.

Well, they ended up standing in the crowded metro under the white artificial lights, grabbing onto the pole above them, saying nothing for nearly 7 stations. They had nothing to say. 

Mai was resting her eyes on anything, and soon she fell upon Azula's arm. She thought it was peculiar that she hadn't noticed the bandages on her forearm before. They were under her snake tattoo. 

"What's that?"

She pointed to the bandages.

"I burned my skin while cooking."

"Thats bullshit, you're a terrible liar."

Azula huffed.

_But... I used to lie so well._

That skill probably seeped out of her charred flesh barely 13 hours before.

"I don't need to tell you anything."

"Okay, I don't care. Just asking. We still have, what, 6 stations left? This city's so fucking big."

"You know what, let's get off here."

They did, and after passing their ticket, they took the stairs and came back into the open air.

An oddly gigantic crosswalk. Empty, apart from a few scooters. Hundreds of identical builings packed together in apartment complexes. All grey, under the grey sky. Everything was flat. It was depressing.

"What are we doing here?"

"Look at this. " Azula opened her arms to the sight before them.

She turned to face Mai. She laughed.

"Look! It's like no one lives here! It's all silent! 25 million people and all there is, is grey. Fucking grey everywhere, forever, on and on. "

"Not to hurt your feelings, but it's kind of your fault. I mean, it's like we're in Brave New World or something. It's an optical illusion nightmare. And it's because of you and the Fire Nation."

Azula snickered.

"I'm 16. This is all mine. I'm the king of the world, I guess. See, my father doesn't understand. He doesn't know me. He'll die one of these days, I know it."

Mai observed her sickening grin.

"Because I'll kill him. "

Mai's eyebrows raised. 

"You want me to be your murder partner? To rule the world? First it's a dystopian prophecy, now it's Macbeth. Life imitates art, huh?"

"I'm serious. "

Azula, wide eyed and excited, grabbed Mai's shoulders.

"This, this sight is depressing, but it's surely better when it's yours."

"You wanna get drunk or rule the world?"

"Oh, but those go hand in hand. So both. No really, I could make things easier for everyone. No need for love, or pain. Just grey and flat and empty places." 

Mai pulled her backpack and grabbed hold of it, tearing the zipper open. 

The bottle was empty.

_How did I not realize?_

"What happened? Please tell me. I don't need to help, if you don't want me to. It's just a good idea to tell someone, or it's gonna rot inside you."

"I got kicked out. So I stole some shit. New clothes, 2 bottles, a pack of chunghwa cigarettes. I never knew this, but I'm pretty damn good at stealing. I spent the night on a bench, like some beggar scum."

"Your arm. You didn't burn it cooking spaghetti for father, I know you didn't."

Azula was getting agitated.

"You wanna know, huh? He burned me like he did my brother. He hurt me and he laughed and he threw me out. And I loved him. He said I was a whore, like my mother. I hated her."

Mai looked down. 

"That's... fucked up"

Azula grabbed her throat.

"I fucking know it is. Now are you gonna help me or not? Or are you gonna kill yourself because mom doesn't let you go out?"

Mai didn't like that. She took a knife from her pockets, and it went through Azula's shirt with such speed and strength that she was pushed against the metro station wall. Another blade pinned her sleeve to the wall, making it impossible for her to firebend.

Azula opened her mouth, her own blade of blue electricity almost licking Mai, who miraculously avoided it.

Maybe they weren't going to get along after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is suuuuper fucked up im really sorry.  
> its gonna get weirder at first but then it'll be normal teen problems i promise pls stay it will get cuter later but i just need to explain the trauma rn  
> and if u want to, maybe, perhaps follow my insta @raining_inparis

**Author's Note:**

> what is this? i have no f u c k i n g clue
> 
> i say you don't know  
> you say you don't know  
> i sayyyy take me out  
> -take me out, franz ferdinand; that song is pure vibes don't u dare not listen


End file.
